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Wasn’t it just yesterday?

We brought you home from the hospital in the car seat, wearing a blue and white winter baby jacket. We put you on the kitchen table, looked at you, looked at one another and said, “Ok, now what?” We had no idea what to do with a baby. Do we let you sleep, wait for you to cry, change a diaper or just sit and stare at you? We had more questions than answers. Even the simple questions like, Is it ok to leave you unsupervised to go take a shower or unpack my hospital bag?” became complicated. We seriously did not know. I read all the baby books, took the prenatal classes and thought I was prepared. But no one and nothing was able to prepare me for that moment. That moment, which was a snapshot in time, but a snapshot that is etched forever in my mind. …


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“What does conscious parenting mean?”

“Who is a conscious parent?”

“What does it mean to be a conscious parent?”

These are the questions I was asking myself as I began to delve into the world of conscious parenting. My own journey into this subject began quite by chance from a book recommendation. The book, The Awakened Family by Dr. Shefali Tsabary, felt like it was speaking directly to me. One of the first sentences that I read was: “We awaken when we become aware of who we truly are.”

To me, that message was that our essence, our true self is important. And while I was intrigued by the desire to find my true self, I also immediately wanted to know how this related at all to parenting. …


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#weareallone

The Poppy

At the end of my meditation on 3/23/20 I saw an image of a red poppy flower. I did not know why I saw this image. It was just there. When things show up for me in my meditations, I know that is an invitation for me to learn more. I needed to understand what this poppy was all about. I went straight to google. This is what I learned:

-The poppy became an enduring symbol of remembrance for those who lost their lives in WWI.

There are many meanings of the poppy flower. …


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Have you had the experience of trying hard for something, and it seems that the harder you try the more you can’t? I know this happens so often in my life. When I find myself trying hard, I know that I am forgetting a few basic principles of the subconscious mind.

One of these principles is, the harder you try to do something, the less chance you have of doing it. This is called the Law of Reverse Effect. Try is actually a negative word to the subconscious mind. This was something I learned in my hypnosis training 18 years ago. When the subconscious mind hears the word try, it actually interprets it as “do not” or “cannot.” When you are “trying” to do something the subconscious knows you are trying, because this is the language you are using when you speak and think about what you want to accomplish. The deeper mind will work against your “trying” efforts. This is because when you use the word try you are invoking your imagination and the imagination will always win over the intellect. For example, if I say to you, “try not to think about a pink dog.”… What just happened? …


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This is the final piece in my 4 part series about how emotions are the unexpected gift when you parent from a conscious place.

10. Healing yourself

Step into the awareness knowing of yourself and your truth, this empowers you.

Others in your family may not “get” you and that is ok. The only one who really needs to understand you is you. When you stand in alignment with yourself and honor yourself you are affecting the family system.

When you embody conscious parenting, practice it, and apply it you will create energetic changes in your home. That shift will be felt by others, they may not even have words to express what they are experiencing but they will be experiencing it. This happens because you now approach them and respond to them in a new way. You will be creating a ripple effect, just like the ripple created when a pebble is thrown into a pond. The outermost ripple does not know what started the change, it does not know it was only a small pebble, but there was no avoiding the impact of the energy that pebble sent out. …


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Stay present within the self

This is part 3 in a series about the gifts of emotions when parenting consciously.

I am walking this path of conscious parenting with all of you. As I have traveled this journey of conscious parenting, I have come to learn many things and have gained insight about myself. In learning these aspects and gaining this insight I realized that I was the one impacting my children. I also learned that it is up to me to take ownership of my emotional baggage and not expect others to change for me. I must heal myself and allow my children the room to become who they came here to be. It is up to all of us, as parents, to give our children the space to be who they truly are. …


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This is part two in a series about the gift of emotions when parenting consciously.

5. “Mistakes” are really learning opportunities

Instead of the word mistake lets rename it a learning opportunity. There really are no mistakes. Everything that we experience in life happens for us. And not just the good stuff, but the not so good stuff too. Can you begin to look at these learning opportunities as avenues for growth?

There are many ages and stages of learning while raising our kids. As parents we have many learning opportunities.

How can we learn to do it if we had not done it wrong first? We learn what works from what did not work. As adults we remember moments we would rather forget, did we learn from those experiences, you bet we did. And we learned from them because no one saved us from the consequences. …


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There are many gifts when you become a parent. Those gifts come in varying sizes, shapes, temperaments and personalities. There are also joys, tears, hopes, dreams, and all sorts of emotional pain. I would like to talk about parenting from a conscious perspective. Some are gifts are easily recognized like: feeling proud they took their first step, saying their first word, getting an A on a spelling test, a role in the school play, getting their driver’s license and getting into college. However, I ask you to consider that the real gifts are the ones that offer our children and us the opportunities for emotional growth. These are opportunities where we as parents have to watch their emotional growing pains. …


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Almost 20 years ago I cut a Ziggy cartoon, by Tom Wilson, out of the newspaper. It is a picture of Ziggy standing in front of a door which is partially open, and it says, “Opportunity only knocks on doors that it knows are already open to it.” This cartoon has stood by my side for all of these years and it has become a motto I have come to live by and fully embrace. In fact, if it were not for Ziggy, I would not be writing this blog right now.

Many times, in life we say, “I am waiting for this to happen in order to do that.” We wait for the right time, money, place, people, opportunities. This is a very passive way of being. However, what if what you are waiting for is already waiting for you? …


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My mom died. There is no other way to say it. Using euphemisms does not soften the blow. I sit here writing this fully able to accept the reality of her death. I knew it was coming. I have been doing anticipatory grieving for the last year and a half. In this time, I watched her decline, as she slowly and defiantly, was no longer able to fight the process her body was going through because of her disease. What I have come to understand is that the ability to accept the inevitability of someone’s death does not give you the sudden super power to not feel the intense grief that comes with the finality of that person no longer being a presence in your life.

About

Janet Philbin

Janet Philbin LCSW, Hypnotherapist, Parent Coach & Healer. She is the author of, Show Up For Yourself-A Guide Inner Awareness and Growth https://amzn.to/3cgxKCp

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